Chapter 6
The apartment felt different when we got home. It was the same space—the same high ceilings, the same floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city—but the air was charged with the weight of the conversation we were about to have.
Jonah made us both tea, the way he always did on difficult nights. He set the mugs on the coffee table and sat across from me in the leather armchair, his elbows on his knees, his eyes fixed on mine.
"Tell me everything," he said.
So I did.
I told him about the gala, about feeling dizzy, about checking myself into the hospital. I told him about Selene appearing in my room, the vase in her hand, the accusation she'd thrown. The attack. The IV pole. The paper that had fallen from her clutch.
I didn't spare myself. I told him about the fear, the confusion, the cold, sharp anger that had crystallized in my chest. I told him about the plan I'd made, the strings I'd pulled, the evidence I'd gathered.
I told him about the diner. The park bench. The dinner.
He listened without interrupting, his face unreadable, his tea untouched. When I fell silent, he sat for a long moment in the quiet of the apartment.
"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice was rough, scraped raw.
"Because I didn't know what you'd do." I looked down at my hands, wrapped around my own mug. "I didn't know whose side you'd take. And I couldn't risk it. I couldn't risk her hurting the baby."
"You think I'd have chosen her over you?"
"I didn't know," I repeated. "You never told me about her, Jonah. I had to find out from a bank statement that fell out of her clutch. I didn't know she was your ex. I didn't know she was still in love with you. I didn't know anything, and you kept it that way."
The words hung in the air between us. I saw his jaw tighten, his knuckles whiten around his mug.
"You were never supposed to have to deal with her," he said finally. "I thought if I just put enough distance between us, she'd get the message and move on. I didn't think she'd—" He shook his head. "I didn't think she'd be that desperate."
"I know." I set down my mug. "And maybe I should have told you when it happened. But I didn't. And I can't go back and change that."
"No," he agreed. "You can't."
I looked up at him, studying his face in the low light. "Are you angry?"
He let out a long breath. "I don't know what I am. Surprised? Impressed? A little hurt that you didn't trust me?" He paused. "Frantic to think about what could have happened to you and the baby if things had gone differently."
"They didn't go differently."
"No." He reached across the table, his hand covering mine. "They didn't."
I looked down at his hand, the warmth of his fingers settling something in my chest. We sat like that for a long time, the city lights flickering outside the window, the apartment settling around us.
Finally, Jonah spoke. "I should have told you about her. When we first got together. I should have been honest about the history. I didn't think it mattered. But it did."
"Yes," I said. "It did."
"I'm sorry." He squeezed my hand. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry you had to deal with her alone. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you."
"I don't need you to protect me," I said, a small smile pulling at my lips. "I've got it covered."
He almost smiled, the corners of his mouth lifting. "Yeah. I'm starting to see that."
We sat in the quiet, the tension slowly draining out of the room. The baby kicked, a sudden flutter against my ribs, and Jonah felt it, his hand still on mine.
"She's strong," he said. "Like her mother."
I looked down at my belly, warmth spreading through me. "She's going to have to be. The world's full of people trying to tear you down."
"Then I'm glad she's got you to show her how to stand up."
We didn't solve everything that night. There was still distance between us, still things to unpack. But it was a start.
A few days after the dinner, I got a letter in the mail. The envelope was cream-colored, the kind of heavy, expensive stock that comes from attorneys. I opened it with a sense of foreboding.
It was from Selene. Or rather, from Selene's attorney.
The letter informed me that Selene had formally withdrawn from all social committees and charity boards. She was vacating her position as a patron of the Manhattan Fertility Associates. And she was entering a voluntary treatment program for the depression she'd been struggling with for months.
The letter went on to say that, in light of the "difficult circumstances" signified by the recent public confession, Selene's marriage had ended. Her husband had filed for divorce.
I set the letter down on the kitchen counter, staring at it for a long moment. The woman who had attacked me had lost everything. Her husband, her social standing, the world she'd built around herself.
But I didn't feel triumphant. I felt tired. A little empty, maybe. The revenge I'd once imagined felt hollow now, replaced by the knowledge that Selene's destruction was a kind of justice she'd brought on herself.
The phone rang, breaking my reverie. I picked it up, expecting my mother or a friend from the gallery. It was Dr. Ellis, my obstetrician, her voice carrying a note of concern.
"Amara, I need you to come in for an extra appointment. We've seen a small anomaly on your last ultrasound. I'd like to run a few tests."
My stomach dropped. "What kind of anomaly?"
"I don't want to alarm you. It could be nothing." There was a brief pause. "But I want to be thorough. Can you come in this afternoon?"
"Of course." I heard my own voice respond automatically. "Yes. I'll be there."
I hung up and stood in the quiet kitchen. The letter was still on the counter. The baby kicked, a faint flutter, as if she knew something was wrong.
I didn't know what the next few days would bring. There were more tests, more waiting, the pregnancy suddenly fragile in a way I hadn't anticipated. Jonah came with me to the appointments, his hand gripping mine in the waiting rooms. He didn't ask about Selene's letter. He just held my hand and told me we'd get through it.
The doctor called three days later. "Amara, I have the results. The anomalies there've been some concerns about—I want you to know it's a false alarm. The baby is healthy. Everything is fine."
I sank down onto the couch, letting out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. The relief was so intense it felt like a physical force. "Everything's fine?"
"Everything's fine. The baby is perfect. You're perfect." Dr. Ellis's voice was warm. "Try to get some rest. I know this was a stressful few weeks."
I hung up and sat in the quiet, my hand on my belly, finally allowing myself to cry. Happy tears. Relieved tears. The kind you cry when you've been waiting for the worst and the worst doesn't come.
Jonah came home that evening and I told him the news. The look on his face—the relief, the joy—was worth all the fear I'd been carrying. He gathered me in his arms, his tear-streaked face pressed against the top of my head.
"We're going to be fine," he said. "All of us."
The wound was healing. The kind that takes more than a few weeks to close, but healing just the same. There was still a faint scar at my temple, a thin line I traced in the mirror each morning as a reminder of what I'd survived.
I was my daughter's mother. I was stronger than the woman who had tried to break me.
And I was ready for whatever came next.
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